This is a much tougher event than the Doubles, without a partner to aid their lack of awareness, or engage in banal conversations.
And they're not off!
Here's Ms.Cretin, a 40 year old proto-elderly woman from Middle England.
As usual she's begun with the inane chit chat. Many athletes prefer to say nothing, but Ms. Cretin keeps motivated through bantering.
Team Middle England may lack the stamina of the Chinese, but their game is all about the positioning.
And we can see Mr. Sun of China now, simply holding himself upright, determined not to move.
He seems oblivious to the existence of any other humans, which is quite impressive considering that there are around a billion people in China.
Ms. Cretin here is doing awfully well, she's standing exactly in the way, almost perfectly equidistant from either side of the path.
All she needs is to be intelligent and considerate enough to move to one side, but she refuses to do so.
Not to be outdone we have Mr. Park representing South Korea. Team Korea of course mostly come from the agrarian areas of the country that lack stimuli and have provided so many winners over the years.
We're seeing such stoicism from Mr. Sun, he just will not move until the event is declared over, and is ordered to do so by authority.
One of the judges has hit Mr. Park over the head with a cricket bat, as is his privilege, and Mr. Park continues to look like an inebriated cow, showing no reactions whatsoever.
Quite an extraordinary final, it's anybody's yet.
And they're still not moving!
Ms. Cretin has just blown it, she could no longer stand there without buying something she doesn't need, and Team Middle England will have to settle for bronze.
Mr. Sun is getting out his iPad now, this a little less disciplined, but they wont care on the Chinese bench because he is still very much being obtrusive, taking photos where people need to walk.
And Mr. Park has finally fallen over under the weight of his own inertia, so Mr. Sun claims gold for China, and Mr. Park for South Korea has to settle for silver.
Even in defeat Ms. Cretin is speaking rather than saying anything, which goes to show what a model professional she is.
A little disappointing for Team Middle England, but they should have better luck in the Wasting Everybody's Time at the Checkout Semi Final.