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Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Rubio! "Kill the lawyer!"

I hope Marco Rubio and Hillary Clinton win their respective nominations so that we can witness a scene like this in the Presidential debates








Saturday, 4 April 2015

Not Much Left

That advocates of the EU have managed to turn membership of the essentially undemocratic EU into an exclusively right-wing issue is as astounding as it is corrosive.

By labelling all those concerned by the development of the European state, and by immigration, as racist, they have created a situation whereby a good many seem to think 'Ok, I'm racist then'. Positions should be argued against with evidence and reason; any underlying racism becomes apparent in the disproving of the argument; self indulgent moralisng isn't necessary. Has simply labelling someone racist ever changed someone's mind?

As I've stated elsewhere, I'm bewildered that immigration is an issue, but as long as it is considered a issue by many, it should be properly discussed. For example, it is stated that those immigrants heading to the UK from Calais are desperately fleeing persecution, and yet it is never asked in the media why then they are attempting to get to Dover rather than staying in France. There may be a good answer to this, but it hasn't been provided, at least not widely.

It has become vogue amongst those who consider themselves 'Liberal' to espouse the importance of a cohesive community and oneness. This is odd considering the blanket support of immigration. Granted it's not impossible to have a monolithic community where people have very different ideas, but it's certainly more difficult.

Myself I don't value the notion of 'community' at all, it's a nebulous concept and people should be allowed to do as they wish within the law. It also very often goes unacknowledged that for there to be community, there has to be some compromise between individual freedoms and the whole.

Equally stupid is the notion that all cultures are equal. Culture is a loose association of ideas and practices, and quite evidently not all ideas and practices are equal. It is quite a spurious term to begin with. When does a collective action become 'culture'? If a 100 people do something vile, can it be defended as 'culture'? A 1,000?

And this is an area where the self-described 'Left' let's itself down. All new cultures in the UK are to be respected, but a Britisher abroad must not try to alter the native culture in any aspect. I have made many friends in other countries, but I am not sycophantic about all aspects of their lifestyle (nor of supposed English culture) I assess things on their own merits. It is after all the only way to make genuine friends.

Is the Korean woman who wants to move to Australia for greater rights destroying her culture? Are the Vietnamese living in the city, with their jeans and iPads to be deemed fictional because they don't fit into the Liberal's idea of what 'Real Vietnam' is?

How is it any more acceptable for Chinese authorities to preserve Chinese culture than for the UKIP base to do what they deem necessary to keep British culture alive? Both seem stupid to me.

Those who prioritise social justice over economic justice will most likely get neither. With their obsession with race and multiculturalism, the self identified Left bears some of the responsibility for the burgeoning anti-immigrant sentiment in England.

Into the Farage Fray

Into the Farage Fray

At the risk of incurring a Farage of abuse (that's all the UKIP leader puns done, I promise) here are my thoughts on the Eurosceptic figure.

As Mr Farage gets his salary and his spouse from Europe, there doesn't seem to be much left for the UK to provide in regards to sustenance. He talks about the EU in the same way a teenage son moans about the father he's financially reliant upon.

With the insistence that migrants have skills, one does wonder what skill Mrs. Farage has. Is being married to Nigel Farage a 'skill' now? Ok fair enough, she can have that one.

It is rather difficult to keep up. Before the refrain was that immigrants were coming to steal our jobs, now the complaint is that they aren't skilled enough. So UKIP want skilled workers to come over here, not work, not be able to claim benefits, and presumably starve to death.

It often said by UKIP supporters that other countries control immigration in this way. This is true, but all it does is demonstrate how stupid the policy is. I am daily offered teaching jobs in China, often for 'immediate' starts, but as I need to obtain a work visa within my home country, to do so would take at the very least a month (probably 2) and a fair amount of money.

And as China is desperate for English teachers, the UK similarly needs hospital staff. I don't really understand the notion of immigration being an issue. It is inevitable that people will go to where resources or the means of obtaining resources are, it's like complaining about gravity.

Some point to the fact that countries such as Italy and Australia limit their human influx, but this is costly (Australia currently can afford it, Italy simply can't) much in the same way as stopping apples falling to the ground in a bid to defy gravity would be costly.

From his background and his general politics, I assume that Farage is of Libertarian bent, and an advocate of free markets. Until greater clarity is offered, I shall have to go by my assumption.

If I met the UKIP leader, I would ask a simple, yet I think nuanced, question:
'How can you justify, both logically and morally, a system that allows the global free movement of capital and jobs, but not of people?'

Also with the free movement of peoples comes the free movement of ideas. These survive on merit or die on demerit.  There is no assault on English culture, whatever that is. As far as I'm aware, people were never forced to devour curry at knife point; it flourished because people liked it.

I don't like the EU, but I accept it as a necessary part of world realpolitik. What I find disturbing though is that, in talking about UKIP's policies, a young supporter recently stated that "Obviously immigration is the main one".  There was a time when leaving the EU was the main one. Increasingly UKIP is looking like an EU funded anti-immigration entity.

Not Much Left

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

A Condescending List of Things You Already Knew

1) Balls are round. It's true, take a look at a ball next time you see one! Please note, obese aunties are not necessarily balls.

2) Jesus was born in Bethlehem, so he should really be called Jesus of Bethlehem! Wow your mates with this one.

3) Cancer causes cancer. Stop eating that cancer, it's bad for you!

4) Napoleon is pronounced 'Nah-Poe-Leon'. Edgar Allen Poe was an American author, and Leon is a villain in Star Fox 64.

5) Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Better leave your spouse for a decade!

6) In England they say trousers, not pants. So be careful when you order some garments in the UK, it may take incrementally longer!

7) Pigs are the most delicious animal. Think on that whilst eating a bacon sandwich!

8) If a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. Be careful about leaving your tress unattended, and don't leave your mother in the forest.

9) 2 + 2 = 4. If this fact should change at any point, become engaged with local politics, because something bad has happened.

10) Reading books increases your intelligence. While reading lists like this decreases your intelligence.

Monday, 30 March 2015

This is Not a Sales Post...

I have worked in an outbound selling call centre, and it's not a vocation I would recommend. A particular detail I remember, and no doubt the recipients of such calls can relate, was the manner in which we had to open our pitch by portraying ourselves as anything other than sellers.

I have digested the spiel from the latest luminaries of 'Spiritualism', this movement that seems to emerge every couple of generations or so, like that of 'Free Love'. The opening gambit is somewhat similar to an insurance peddling call (or 'Care Plan').

These spiritualists begin by stating that there are limits to what we can perceive of the world through our senses. This is irrefutable, in much the same way that it is undeniable that something bad may happen to your Sky dish.

This fact is used to demonstrate the limits of science . This again, is true, but it is a non-sequitur to suggest that a baseless method has merit. Just because you can't guarantee the future functionality of your pen doesn't mean you should buy pen insurance from a stranger on the phone.

And then after a generally agreeable exchange, you get to the end of the spiel, and it turns out these spiritualists have a method of actually perceiving reality, using those very same senses they described as limited. But they said it wasn't a sales call!

Schopenhauer asserted that the best way of attaining a better grasp of reality was through music, which of course is primarily enjoyed through the ears, an organ very much of this world.

Yes, at the crux of the talk, Meditation is offered, and it's completely free! Meditation, or 'Stop Playing Mario Kart and Think Once in While' as it was known in my house, has all the answers, and all that's required is a suspension of critical faculties.

Those unaccustomed to being quiet or thinking, otherwise known as Media Studies graduates, have found this method of building up inner energy revolutionary.

What is also increasingly odd, is that many of these spirituality advocates fight the perpetrators of Climate Change by citing scientists, and also attempt to connect with Mother Earth through baseless nonsense. This is hardly helpful, it gives the vested interests a very easy way to dismiss any concerns.

To a monotheist, spiritualist, or other spurious ideologue, I would ask, which system of thought would you want used by the judge/jury if you were on trial for a murder that you clearly did not commit? If it's reason and empiricism, you should apply that to all things, otherwise you would not deserve a fair trial.

If a new plane is manufactured, we would not expect people to give it a try until it was fully tested, and yet this attitude is taken towards all sorts of things that haven't been tested, or at least not with positive results, such as much of alternative medicine. It's alternative for a reason, the alternative is death.

As Stephen Fry once said, "Science doesn't know everything, that doesn't mean science knows nothing."

When the spiritualist has you on the hook, they'll ask 'Just to confirm, your belief details are...' For they want you to sign up to all sorts of unfounded ideas, all for a mere suspension of disbelief once a month. I wouldn't describe myself as spiritual. Once in a while I like to have a Walk of Whimsy along a river bank, and every always in a while I like to marvel at the entertaining nature of a dog's ears.

This is enough for me. If you want to sit quietly via a particular method of meditation, then good luck to you, but please don't lose sight of the fact that all you're essentially doing is Thinking, an activity that I don't feel should be discouraged. As a young boy I quite liked churches because they were rare quiet places (an aspect ruined by evangelicalism), but didn't see the need to subscribe to the enveloped absurdity.

For the sake of argument we can term this acceptance of other organisms 'Spiritualism' if really need be. But these belief systems are not needed for this understanding, it has simply believed to be so, due to an infant period of human history.

A child may learn to ride a bike with training wheels. Now, the child may come to the conclusion that extra wheels were entirely requisite for riding the bike, and this would be a logical conclusion based on their level of understanding. However, they would be incorrect. To achieve 'Spirituality' without dogma or superstition would be to akin to riding a bike without additional help.

To take another example, Christmas is no less special for learning that Santa doesn't exist. Perhaps shocking at first, it even is more satisfactory as presents become tokens of love between humans. We don't need an excuse to feel connected to one another and to be simply 'nice'.

We can be 'at one' with nature by simply appreciating it, we don't need help from charlatans. To conclude, I offer a perennially insightful statement from Douglas Adams:

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

Saturday, 21 March 2015

UKIP in Normality

Tenuous News can exclusively reveal that UKIP leader Nigel Farage has been embroiled in a new Calm today. As Farage efficiently administers his party machine, accusations of Order continue to grow.

The UKIP leader set out coherent and logical polices, and and kept to them for the entire day. After displaying racial tolerance and inclusiveness, the party faces Normality. Instead of using terms such as 'Ting Tong', party members have been calling non-Caucasians by their names.

It has been 24 hours since any UKIP has been suspended, and pressure is mounting on Nigel Farage. Support for UKIP has been dwindling as the racist outbursts decline, and many think we've passed pique UKIP.

One UKIP supporter complained 'They've become just like all the other political parties, too scared to take on a disadvantaged minority'

For legal reasons Tenuous News can't name the politician, but there are allegations that a UKIP MEP paid for their lunch using their own money.  Some reports even suggest that they used Euros.

Should this allegation prove to be true, it could be the final nail in the coffin for Nigel Farage, who in the last 24 hours has been fiscally responsible. If he doesn't order a pint of beer using EU money soon, it is hard to see how he can remain 'of the people'.

The problems continue to mount for UKIP. Just yesterday a party councillor compared fellow politician Muhammed Aziz to the boxer Muhammed Ali, suggesting that he displayed similar dignity to the sporting legend.

The short-lived period of calm has been pounced upon by David Cameron:
"This is just the first of a series of competent decisions by this party."

UKIP have been keen to downplay the tranquillity, and blamed the 'liblabcon' supporting mainstream media for blowing racial sensitivity and legal spending habits out of all proportion.

We tried to get a response from Nigel Farage, but sadly he was busy:
"I'm sorry, I'm going down to the Chinese restaurant with my family right now". 

Monday, 16 March 2015

Tenuous News: The Fall of Socialism

Long sickening, the Aryan Socialist Bloc has finally fallen. With dysfunctional polices such as rent controls, inclusion of workers on company boards, and a large welfare state, it was only a matter of time before the countries behind the nicely patterned but threadbare curtain fell.

It was a common occurrence to see people in Germany queuing for 24 hours to get their hands on the latest 'Der Kretinous Vank', the Germanic equivalent of Heat! magazine.

With a large safety net for the poor in Sweden, the inducement to work completely vanished. People in Sweden simply stopped working, and the state collapsed. The situation became so dire, that some did not even want to buy an overpriced latte.

In Germany workers did not have the nous to make corporate decisions, and this led to the failure of these companies, and ultimately led to Germany becoming a basket case, where widespread poverty meant that many had to seek help from food banks.

Due to controls on the levels of rent in Germany, the incentive for people to work hard, and the enticement to invest in property has disappeared. Germany is now facing the prospect of having to sell state industries to capitalist European countries, and property to Russian billionaires, just to keep going.

Germany failed to heed the lessons of Iceland, which descended into a dystopian nightmare after they refused to bail out their bankers. The talent went abroad to London, where a lack of financial regulation has led to a harmonious society for all.

Instead, regulation of financial practices in Germany has seen their economy stagnate, and their football league unable to compete with teams from abroad. Ordinary Germans dare not speak out against the Deirdre Leader, Angela Merkel.

A period of Glasnost and Perestroika is set to follow. It is hoped that this will encourage these countries to actually start making things, such as Quality Service, Financial Derivatives, and Marketing Initiatives. The economy based on manufacturing and engineering was never sustainable, and sooner or later the people were bound to suffer.